You raise some interesting questions and it's quite difficult to answer, 'cause I'm not totally sure of my own position. Firstly, there's the question of fantasy vs reality: I don't think it's hypocritical for someone to have different standards for their fantasies than the real world (i.e. to enjoy non-consensual spankings of women in movies whilst believing that adult spanking must be consensual in reality).
I guess this is roughly how I feel personally, though that's not to say I couldn't see certain scenarios where a non-consensual spanking of a woman could be justifiable. I don't think men should hit women, but I also don't think men should just sit there and act as punching-bag because of social niceties - therefore if a woman attacked a man physically, a spanking might be a reasonable response (or at least, at lot more acceptable than many other possible responses).
Within the context of relationships, I think people into spanking play around with consent to some degree & it's a bit of a grey area - e.g. a 'non-consensual' smack on the butt to 'test the waters' for potential future consensual play: I've certainly done this. And some people have relationships where the spanking is somewhere between consensual and non-consensual (e.g. the 'domestic discipline' kind of set-up where the woman consents to the use of spanking in general, but not to a specific instance). But the sort of spanking fiction scenario where a guy spanks his girlfriend as punishment for spending too much on the credit card: no, I don't think this is acceptable in reality, even if the idea is appealing.
Where I do have a problem with your post is where you talk about having dished out a "few hard one smackers to barmaids" - I think there you sound like you are unfairly exploiting a power dynamic: you only risk getting thrown out the bar; if she slapped your face in response, she risks losing her job. And your next example: "women in a pub", are you talking about smacking a girl's butt as a form of flirtation or are you going round issuing random punishments to strangers when you see bad behaviour? The latter would be rather troubling to me whereas the former, perhaps not so much, it depends very much on context.
All in all, it's an area I'm conflicted about. It's difficult to reconcile my general belief that men & women are equal with the fact that I get off on the idea of women being spanked as punishment. However when it comes down to it I can and do keep fantasy and reality separate.
I guess this is roughly how I feel personally, though that's not to say I couldn't see certain scenarios where a non-consensual spanking of a woman could be justifiable. I don't think men should hit women, but I also don't think men should just sit there and act as punching-bag because of social niceties - therefore if a woman attacked a man physically, a spanking might be a reasonable response (or at least, at lot more acceptable than many other possible responses).
Within the context of relationships, I think people into spanking play around with consent to some degree & it's a bit of a grey area - e.g. a 'non-consensual' smack on the butt to 'test the waters' for potential future consensual play: I've certainly done this. And some people have relationships where the spanking is somewhere between consensual and non-consensual (e.g. the 'domestic discipline' kind of set-up where the woman consents to the use of spanking in general, but not to a specific instance). But the sort of spanking fiction scenario where a guy spanks his girlfriend as punishment for spending too much on the credit card: no, I don't think this is acceptable in reality, even if the idea is appealing.
Where I do have a problem with your post is where you talk about having dished out a "few hard one smackers to barmaids" - I think there you sound like you are unfairly exploiting a power dynamic: you only risk getting thrown out the bar; if she slapped your face in response, she risks losing her job. And your next example: "women in a pub", are you talking about smacking a girl's butt as a form of flirtation or are you going round issuing random punishments to strangers when you see bad behaviour? The latter would be rather troubling to me whereas the former, perhaps not so much, it depends very much on context.
All in all, it's an area I'm conflicted about. It's difficult to reconcile my general belief that men & women are equal with the fact that I get off on the idea of women being spanked as punishment. However when it comes down to it I can and do keep fantasy and reality separate.